Nigel Hammerstien

Turnips’
We’ve all heard the phrase “I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck”, right? I don’t know about you, but I see loose turnips everywhere.
A turnip in the left lane doing 50 and texting
A turnip looked at my paper money as though it was foreign currency
A turnip blamed a video game for their child’s behavior
A turnip spent 30 grand going to school for video game development while they were stoned
A turnip was eaten by bears while “living” with them
A turnip purchased an escalade with dubs while sleeping with cockroaches
A turnip had 9 children with 7 women and wonders where his money goes
A turnip voted on party lines without knowing the candidates
A turnip produces meth to support his family
Seems to me that way too many turnips have fallen off the truck and the following cars failed to run them over.