VENTHQ

Lawyers! :(

Jonah — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 23:56:23 +0000

: Corporate J

Lawyers: The catalyst of the apocalypse!

I will be the first to admit that there is a need for lawyers and that some of them may actually perform honorable work. The problem is that the trade is plagued with opportunists, greed mongers, and sue happy parasites, that have created the ultra litigious society of today. How many ads do you see on television for personal injury lawyers, divorce lawyers or DUI. Not only do these sharks thrive on the misfortunate, they make a ton of money to absolve criminals they know are guilty for their large paycheck. They make their living by helping those who are as opportunistic as they are. Spill some coffee on yourself at a large chain? chching!! Get let go for being a terrible employee, but the company lacked the proper archives of documentation to prove you sucked? No worries, there’ll be a bloodsucker that will represent you and get you money for nothing. What happened to being accountable for your actions and realizing that from time to time shit happens? It doesn’t mean you need to sue someone! I believe the weak and lazy who pursue a quick payday because they’re to inept to make a good living are a big part of the problem, but Lawyers, please use that intelligence that helped you through law school and passing the bar. How about passing on some of the ridiculous lawsuits and become a steward of society that moves it in the right direction. You may not be able to afford that third home, but perhaps you could sleep a bit better at night without the help of Ambien. Oh wait, there’s another lawsuit in the mix for crashing your car while driving in a sleep induced coma due to your inability to read a label or recognizing a side-effect and saying “hey, this stuff makes me feel weird”. How about some personal liability? Oh yeah, the lawyers took that away. Welcome to the world of it’s everyone’s fault but mine!

Antisocial Network

nigel — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 09:18:51 +0000

Facebook is everyone’s private newspaper. It’s full of information you want to hear, but mostly shit you don’t.. I myself am guilty of Spacebooking while driving, sometimes it’s the only thing that can get me through the commute. I’ve realized that there are five basic food groups with Spacebookers..
#1. Doom and Gloom.. which is my fave. Doom and Gloom comes in many varieties, but here are my favorites: People that post open ended statements that mean nothing other than too get you to comment so they can feel relevant. And then there is the classic FML (Fuck my life for those of you that are not Spacebook savvy), I hate everything, can’t get a job, why can’t I just win the lottery, nothing ever goes my way type of posts.. Here’s the answer… things don’t go your way because your a pothole and most people try to avoid those.. or maybe because you are on Facebook all day instead of doing something to try better your life. Why you can’t win the lottery? You have to buy a ticket to win and since you have no money because you don’t have a job because you are on Facebook all day, you can’t buy one.
#2 Kid’s…. It’s all babies and kid’s all the time. Party invites for a 1 year old.(this is extremely important because you know they are going to remember that when they are older). Their profile pic is a picture of one of their kids, every photo album is titled one of the following: Kid’s Birthday, Kids at the Park, picnic with the kids, summer fun with the kids.. Wait what am I talking about, Nobody cares! Yes Spacebookers nobody cares about your kid’s.. Sorry.
#3 ”MY BAND” ”MY BAND” ”MY BAND” ”MY BAND”
Yeah, we just don’t care or want to go to your CD release party.. your band sucks that’s why you advertise on here..
#4 ”Politics”
If you really know everything.. You probably don’t need us as friends..and if your just looking to argue, tell your wife she’s fat, that should be able to stir up something..
#5 ”I’m super witty”
These are the people with heavy damage from high school.. They were picked on, beat-up, had no friends, and had their lunch money stolen everyday. On Facebook these people try to friend every person in the their graduating class. Facebook to them is a way of redemption… to show everybody what they missed out on, like how God Damn funny and smart they are and the pure wit that they exude seventeen times a day. These are my least favorite people on Facebook and just thinking about it is making me mad… therefore I must end this rant. FML. Nigel

Auto Tune – The worst musical invention since the triangle!

nigel — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:37:02 +0000

The work of the Devil!

This is a funny vide0 about the worst musical invention ever! It used to be that one needed a shred of talent or at the least a unique style to make music! Not anymore! Now everyone can have the same shitty sound! Enjoy.

Autotune

Corporate J

Tipping is for the Birds!

nigel — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 07:55:15 +0000

Corporate J

Now, before you start whining about what a cold heartless bastard I am, completely true, let me tell you that I worked many jobs as a teenager in the service industry. Sur, the waitress may be cute and provide good service, but what about the hungover long haired punk who is slaving in a hot kitchen all day preparing your grub. Or how about the kid cleaning up your dirty dishes in the back. You wouldn’t think of tipping them! So what is the deal with these outdated traditions, isn’t it time to buck the system? I agree with Mr Pink. If your looking for me to help pay the bills, learn a new trade.

watch

Dating for Ugly People!! Why??

nigel — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 07:55:15 +0000

Don’t allow this to go on!

http://cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2010/10/09/nr.ugly.dating.cnn

Do we really need a dating site for ugly people? I certainly don’t wish to deprive anyone of love and companionship, but can we require all who subscribe to this site to be fixed? Oh wait a second, that sounded a bit hitleresque, but we are sort of cirumventing natural selection by encourging the coupling of those who would otherwise not be chosen for breeding. I understand that my genes should not be carried on and avoid finding an ugly mate and creating an ugly child.

Do we really need more of these people in the world?

Living in Hell

nigel — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 07:37:20 +0000

Why do couples insist on displaying their utter hatred for one another in public? I’m in the line at a store today, and a husband asks his wife a simple question, she yells out the answer while sending a text on the phone,never looking his way. I understand how being in a long term reltionship gives one some latitude in common curtosy, but I see and hear things that could be classified as nothing less than pure destain for one another. If this is you, GET OUT! Yes, divorce is expensive, but wouldn’t you like a bit of your dignity back? Put your hand down your pants. Feel those? Those are the stones that you used to display. Are they still there? Or have they went the way of your dignity

Some peoples kids!

nigel — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 07:37:20 +0000

Remember the days when you would say “some peoples kids”, and be referring to only a few of the troublemakers or obviously mislead youth? Today, it seems I say that with more and more often. Where are the parents? Who are the parents? Trust me, I understand there are still good children out there! But the sense of entitlement of children today is becoming scarier by the minute. The cell phones, IPODs, laptops, 360′s, WII, PS3, free cars when the reach driving age and whatever else your perfect little monster demands as a simple article that everyone else has. A friend of mine told me that one day as she was explaining that she really couldn’t afford the item he wanted, his response was “but you can just go to the ATM mom”! There seems t be no sense of financial reality for the youth of today. They have a hard time dealing with the concept of working for money and what in means to contribute as a part of the economy as anything but a consumer.

So, how will they continue to consume without producing?

Just Give me the Damn Savings!

nigel — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 22:53:04 +0000

Sick if Savings Cards

There was an episode of Seinfeld, where Castanza was having back problems, he came to learn that his back problem was from his abnormally thick wallet, I myself have been suffering from “thick wallet syndrome” but it’s sure as hell is not full of money, it’s full of “Savings Cards”!! Almost every place I shop, before the business transaction, I am asked “do you have a super savings card?” NO ?!?!? “Would you like to sign up for one?” … NO !! Best Buy, CVS, Walgreen’s, Snyder Drug, Guitar Center, Game Stop, Cub, Rainbow, Petco, Barnes & Noble, Border’s, SA, and that’s just off the top of my head. That’s 12 cards at an average thickness of .030 each x 12 = .360 That almost 3/8 of an inch of extra girth in my wallet. Most places can just take your phone # and find the account info, great!, now I have to remember my own phone number too?!?!?, Thanks for the homework Best Buy! I’m not going to drive accross town to go to cub just because I have a savings card for them and not Rainbow, stop making us jump through hoops, and just save us the money, so I can have my wallet back. Well I must be going to the chiropracter to fix my out of allinement spine now, good thing I have a chiropratic savings card so I can get that 2% disscount! Stop trying to make us feel like a valued customer with these preferred member cards and just give us the truth! You’ve found another promotional tool that not only suckers the lemmings back to your establishment for the discount they should be afforded to begin with. You are not interested in giving something back to your customers, but more so with finding a way to lead the sheep back. Keep your damn savings club and give me the dignity of a fair deal the first time!

Phat Jesus

Contributer: Venthq.com

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nigel — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 07:36:57 +0000